I was young, enthusiastic and somewhat naive when I first began working
in this intense ministry field. An unpredictable and volatile territory where I
sincerely believed without a doubt that we were (and still are) mandated to respond and try to make
a difference among vulnerable children – Perhaps it was a factor in my favour which kept me optimistic
and prevented discouragement from turning me back on my steadfast resolve….???
I still shamelessly have that childlike and seemingly stubborn
heart – that refuses to give up or surrender – that sees the cup as half full
or the challenges as the potential and opportunity rather than the obstacle ……but
the journey has definitely dented, bruised, tainted and crumbled the ‘Disney’
dream of happy endings, where those you reach out to, love and give your life for ‘all live happily ever after’……..
The road of reality has been strewn with messy lives, tears,
frustrations, fears and shared brokenness…..an unyielding fight to hold fast to
hope and a sometimes daily battle for each step that this restoration process
involves for every child…..
A courage contest to believe…..
A perseverance struggle
to find (and keep) staff who are committed for the long haul, without glamorous
results, rewards or compensation….who have both the character and determination
to really stick it out and love unconditionally without measuring the sacrifice….
This challenging year has brutally stripped my own simple heart
bare and exposed afresh the rawness of love….uncovering the vulnerability of
opening up myself further to pain…to loss….to more disappointment.
Self-preservation dangerously erects walls of
limitation that inhibit transparency and prevents growth. The protection becomes a division and a barrier to authentic relationship.
Hollow attempts to conserve our inadequate core resources backfire through detachment and self inflicted isolation....disconnection from ourselves and those around us.
A sweet, wise friend once told me that pain is the evidence of life….if there is no pain or bleeding then life has already gone….
Pain is confirmation of life still pulsating through my soul….through the veins of this daily work….an active transfusion through us and out into these kid’s lives….as long as we remain connected channels without blockage.
It is the thread woven through and holding a messy, broken, hurting, vulnerable
family together, the magnet that draws the prodigals back home…… It is the
only answer I can give and the only source that sustains each moment
Although I am severely lacking.....the real and only supply is immeasurable.....
