My heart seems so often to be more interested in what is lost than what has been found.....looking outward.....looking ahead.....looking beyond wondering about another child I haven't met yet....still to be rescued.....
Maybe I'm like the woman with 10 coins, who searches the house for just one misplaced penny.....worthless to most, not worth the effort but if I can't find something that is missing I can't rest until I've upturned everything in its pursuit. If it still is not found I'm unsettled and frustrated, longing for its retrieval....
This house of boys has upturned so much - What was once important pales, and what is now important really matters.Priorities exist but they are now in a different order - with more meaning and relevance.
What you value determines what you do with yourself, your time, your money, your effort.....and so it is now with these children - My life may feel upside down and my heart inside out.....but what was once lost in me has truly been found and made more significant in the searching.....
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Mining for Treasure
'J' is a strong boy, aggressive and difficult to know. Trust shattered by parental choices made beyond his control yet now a bully, resistant and dominant.
A short look into his angry eyes reveals a fragment of the hurt little boy inside that he would rather hide and forget. Numbness is easier than pain. Forced bravery a distracting disguise.
I find myself wondering how to teach these children how to start to forgive? The crimes against their wounded hearts are more than most could count in a lifetime and the thick crusty layers of anger, hatred and resentment do not fall away easily. For 'J' they have formed a strong shell that shields his brokenness but prevents real relationship.
Its a messy business - digging further, deeper, past the black in search of something purer at the core. Its there! We have seen glimmers - sometimes a flash of light, a moment shimmer when the guard is down and a flicker of life darts through....somewhere buried in the depths, concealed beneath the ruins, the riches of who they really are lies....waiting for discovery. The image of their maker - raw and original in design - treasure immeasurable.
A short look into his angry eyes reveals a fragment of the hurt little boy inside that he would rather hide and forget. Numbness is easier than pain. Forced bravery a distracting disguise.
I find myself wondering how to teach these children how to start to forgive? The crimes against their wounded hearts are more than most could count in a lifetime and the thick crusty layers of anger, hatred and resentment do not fall away easily. For 'J' they have formed a strong shell that shields his brokenness but prevents real relationship.
Its a messy business - digging further, deeper, past the black in search of something purer at the core. Its there! We have seen glimmers - sometimes a flash of light, a moment shimmer when the guard is down and a flicker of life darts through....somewhere buried in the depths, concealed beneath the ruins, the riches of who they really are lies....waiting for discovery. The image of their maker - raw and original in design - treasure immeasurable.
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