Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Prodigal Sons

16 years ago I heard a speaker say that 'Compassion is Love in Action' - That phrase has never left me and at times has driven me forward when I have not known how else to make a difference with broken children.

Yesterday morning JC, one of our boys who ran away 10 days ago, returned home. Dirty, disheveled hair, raspy voice, exhausted, head lowered, ashamed to look in our eyes. All I could do was to hold him so tightly and he clung so closely. I could have held him all day. A week of worry, fear, frustration, anger, desperate cries, desperate prayers melted into one wordless gesture that expressed everything my heart had to say.

 I've read, heard, watched and even personally performed a dance interpretation of the story of the prodigal son but this week it has had a whole new raw reality depth. What it means to long for and look for your lost child - no matter what they have said or done, to yearn for their return, for the filling of the hole....the waiting and watching..... Forgiveness and compassion are verbs that require sacrifice....I'm learning too they are probably the two most powerful core actions of parenting and the only response we can have that truly demonstrates the Father. Parenting really is HEART work!

Facing The Giants

Tuesday May 14th 2013
At midnight last night two of our House of Joshua boys hastily stuffed their things into their new school bags, tried to persuade other children to join them, broke the kitchen lock and ran away taking with them other's belongings and house items. They are not the first ones to run......and most likely will not be the last......

 It is obviously incredibly disappointing, discouraging, and frustrating as we try to invest ourselves in these broken lives. The restoration process is complicated and volatile as past pain, memories and damage litters the journey of healing. Young raw and vulnerable hearts spew up explosive residue in defensive mechanisms and rebuilding trust and relationship is a fragile venture.....It takes much time, energy and HEART work for small steps forward. Working to build a family out of so many broken pieces requires much grace and miracles for change.

 As we try once again to adjust our hearts to the disappointment and loss I am mindful that we all have two choices as to how we respond to our Father's love - It is often easier to retract like an anemone at a single touch - the rawness of our brokenness is sensitive and afraid....But learning to trust HIS LOVE is the only way out of the pain towards wholeness.....We often want quick fix answers or remedies but we understand that God is not interested in plasters or short term bandages for the wounds....He is Jehovah Rophe - The God who heals - The ONLY restorer whose touch can bring lasting transformation.

 'And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.' Romans 5: 5

Charting My Heart.....

Many people over the years have said I should write a book but the thought is overwhelming and the journey so lengthy, I admittedly have no idea where to begin. In truth there are half started diaries and notes scribbled along the way in attempted efforts to try and record some of the stories and miracles that mark the rough road we have been trekking.

 I have resisted from committing myself to a blog wary of how raw this journey is and the vulnerability it takes to actually read or share the true contents of each step..... Despite my resistance to myself I am now at a point where there are so many lessons and discoveries that if I fail to somehow log them they will be lost. More than anything I want my own children and those that are entrusted to us (for however long) to have the opportunity to understand.....and have the courage to forge ahead their own paths with faith. SO....Welcome to my uncharted heart - Places in myself that I didn't know existed and territory yet to be discovered!